As I was grabbing my purse to walk out of my office for lunch today, I saw the printed picture I have of my dear friend Tim. I had to stop myself from falling back into my chair. I had forgotten that the picture was with some other items from my EPC office. I printed it for our day of the dead at my former office. I wanted Tim and his family to be blessed and prayed for. I still think of Tim often. He always liked the same silly stupid stuff I did, and it's hard not to think of him when I used my video iPod. Tim was the first person I knew who had one. He was the person who showed me video podcasts and he was the person that told me changing the cover of an iPod could be done. I was not video iPod savvy. I still had my little 4gig iPod mini that was awesome for my car. Tim was a great friend and I wish I would have had more time to spend with him. More than anything I wish he were here to see his boys grow up and to be there for his wife. Having Tim die so young makes me so scared and nervous of things to come. Missing him just makes my heart ache and makes me sad.
I try not to worry about all of the "what ifs" but it's hard not to. I want to see my little family grow and flourish, but what if I can't....what if Den isn't here to see those days. It's getting harder to live in the "NOW" because we are getting older and we aren't the healthiest people in the world. I am determined to grow old with my husband and to see my fair share of the days ahead. Change is coming, and even if the change is too late....at least the change began.
